Post by rrhea on Dec 5, 2007 0:31:13 GMT -5
This is a true story that I wrote. I happened to me 3 years ago. I have not shared it with anyone except Cat Stevens fans.
What happened? The parametics put me into an ambulance. I had every symptom of a heart attack. Some of my family members, and some close friends, had died of heart attacks. I thought I was going to die. I knew that "I might die tonight". I thought I would never see my wife and children again. A miracle happened. I started thinking about Cat Stevens, and his music played in my head. I suddenly felt peace like I've never felt before. The good news is, obviously, I lived.
Cat Stevens does not know me. I know his name is Yusuf Islam now. I have never met him. He saved my life through his music.
I am a 47 year old man. I was in good health, or so I thought.
One night, I thought that I was going to die. I thought I was going to die that night.
On that night, my life changed forever.
The day started like any other day I was at a store shopping. I do this all the time. It was a Sunday evening, like any other Sunday evening. I felt fine. Suddenly, I felt my heart beating really fast in my chest. I started breaking out in a sweat. My chest felt heavy. Pain was shooting down my arm. I got in my car and drove home. I had never felt this way before.
Was it bad food I ate earlier in the day? What was going on? I had never felt this way before. I went home and layed down on my bed. I would feel better in a few minutes. The pain just got worse.
My wife and kids were home. They didn’t notice anything wrong.
After another couple of hours, the pain got worse. I started to feel a sense of doom. I felt that I was going to die. I had never felt this way.
Then I remembered: my uncle. My uncle was about the same age – around 50 – when he suddenly died of a heart attack. He had no symptoms. He woke up one morning, felt pain in his chest and arms. By that evening, he was dead.
I got more and more worried. I started thinking that this was it. I was going to die.
I wrote my son (age 11), my daughter (age 14) very brief notes. I did not say goodbye. I told them I loved them. I wrote a note to my wife. I told her where my life insurance papers were. I didn’t want to worry them.
I called emergency 911. The ambulance and the parametics arrived very quickly, about 5 minutes later. The time was 2:00 in the morning. Their sirens and red flashing lights woke up my wife and kids. When this happened before, it was a neighbor. Now, it was daddy. They were taking daddy to the hospital. I told my wife, “I am sorry, but I called the ambulance. I think I am having a heart attack.” Nothing like this ever happened to me before.
The last I saw of my two children was outside the ambulance. They were crying. I thought I would never see them again. They thought their daddy was going to die. My wife followed behind me in her car.
It is very strange when you think you are going to die. I did not think about death. I did not think about what would happen to me. All I wanted was to see my wife and children again. I wanted to change my life, so I would live. Unfortunately, if this was the last night of my life, I no longer had time to change anything.
I am somewhat religious. I attend church regularly, but I rarely pray, and I rarely read books like the Bible. I am not sure about religion. I think I believe that there is a God. But at that moment, I suddenly and silently said this:
“God, if you let me live, I will devote my life to you.”
I promised God that if I lived, I would devote my life to Him. I did not promise that I would quit my job (I work in computer software for large company). I did not promise I would become a missionary or a pastor. I only promised that I would devote my life to serving God.
I began to remember: somebody famous, somebody I really admired, made the same promise. He actually did it.
It was one of my favorite songwriters, Cat Stevens. When he was young (around 25 years old I think), he was swimming in the ocean near Malibu, California. (I grew up in Palos Verdes, California, which just across the bay from Malibu.) Suddenly, a rip current picked up Cat Stevens and carried him out to sea. For that moment, he felt that he was going to die too. He said the same thing, “God, if you let me live, I will devote my life to serving you.” He actually lived up to his promise. He gave up the music business, and all the wealth and fame associated with it. He has devoted his life to charity, education, and helping others. He changed his name to Yusuf Islam. Thirty years after his near death incident, he returned to music and began writing and recording songs again. His new songs are just as good and inspirational as before.
Cat Stevens also wrote a song called “But I Might Die Tonight”. One night, I thought that I was going to die. At the age of 47, I thought my life was over.
As I layed on a cot in the ambulance, I asked silently, “God, why have you abandoned me? Why do I need to die in pain as a young man?” I didn’t wait for God to answer me. I have never heard God’s voice. I have never seen God or experienced God directly.
I didn’t need God to answer anyway. I knew the answer. I was a mean, fat, and drunk person. I was overweight. I was unkind to the people who loved me. I drank alcohol all the time. These things all kill you. They may not kill you right away, but eventually, they kill you. I knew it, but kept doing it.
I started thinking about a song I heard recently. The words were:
You can’t bargain with the truth.
Whether you’re right or your wrong
You are going to know what you’ve done
You’re going to see where you belong
In The End.
I had denied the truth for a long time. I was not going to live a long or happy life by drinking. My anger at people who had hurt me was boiling over. I ate too much of the wrong foods. The Truth was becoming clearer to me now. But was it too late? Was I going to die?
As I layed down in the ambulance, the paramedics began to hook me up to heart monitors, sticking needles in my arm, and asking me questions. I answered them – I think – I think I was still conscious. I knew the hospital is a 10 minute drive from my house, but the bumpy ride in the ambulance seemed to take hours. There is no concept of time when you think you could die at any moment.
I kept telling myself I was a better person than most people. In truth, I hated myself. I hated the person I had become. I asked God again: why? Like a voice from the darkness, I heard a song:
The answer lies within.
So why not take a look now?
Kick out the Devil’s sin.
Pick up the Good Book now!
I knew this was one of my favorite songs, “On the Road to Find Out”, by Cat Stevens. He could have meant the Bible, or any good book. God was telling me, I had to look within myself to get the answers I was seeking. If I was going to die tonight, I had to get the answers now.
I arrived at the hospital. They wheeled me in to a hospital room immediately. They hooked me up to an IV and life support equipment. I was still conscious. They told me that the blood test and EKG results would not come back for 45 minutes. I did not know if I would live that long. It would be 45 minutes before I would learn if I would live or die.
In about an hour, the doctor came in. He told me: “you are not having a heart attack. I think this is a panic attack. We are going to observe you for a few hours. Then you can go home.”
I was going to live!
But I was not going to live as the same person I was before.
I made a promise to God: I was going to serve Him if he let me live. How was I going to serve God? I was not famous. I could write a book and have millions of people read it. I was not wealthy. What could an insignificant person like me do to help God?
Then I remembered words from another song:
If you want to help your fellow man,
You better start with what’s in your hand.
Did this mean that I could serve God by helping people? Even if I helped one person, in any way I could, was this serving God?
Since my near-death experience, I learned a few very important things. I learned that what many people say is a lie. I learned that if you follow the advice of some people, you will die. You will die alone and miserable. This is why I don’t offer advice to people very much. I might be wrong. I tell people what I feel, what has happened to me, and what I did about it. I let them decide to do what I do. If people like me and respect me, they will do some of the things I do. I will live my life as an example to others.
The most important thing I have learned is that we can change ourselves. We do not need other people to change. We do not need help from other people. Getting help from other people is very good sometimes. The problem is that we cannot control other people. If we count on other people for our happiness, we will always be disappointed. This is not because other people are bad. This is because all people have their own problems, and everyone is suffering too, some worse than others.
I can only change myself. I realized I have control over what I feel, and I can especially control what I do. If I am kind to others, they are more likely to be kind to me. Some people will be unkind no matter what you do. No matter what they do, I can be good to others.
I realized that my own happiness was mostly under my control. Some things happen that I can’t control: illness, accidents, and other people hurting me. It is very difficult to be happy when you are suffering. However, I can still be happy. I can be happy if I decide to be happy.
I want serve God, whatever He is. I want to keep my promise. I want to live. I want to be a better person. I did not know how. Who really knows how to be a better person? I started looking for answers.
I don't know the answers to all my questions, but I am on the road to find out.
I decided to read the Bible. In the Bible, Jesus told me to love my neighbor. He told me to treat others like I want to be treated. He told me to fix myself, to change my heart, and to be more loving to others and to myself. He told me to stop judging others, and to stop hating others for bad things they had done to me. He told me to forgive others. Later, I found out that the Jewish prophets, Buddah, and Mohammed all had very similar messages. Peace be with them all.
My belief in God is really helpful to me, but you can have any religion, or no religion. I am not trying to change your religion, and I am not saying you must believe in God. For me, my feeling that there is a higher power has made me feel hopeful. I felt hope that I could change the road I was on.
I became a happier person. I became a happier person by loving others, being nicer to other people, and forgiving the people who hurt me. This made me happier. More people liked me and respected me. My wife and I love each other more than ever. My children are happier and are growing up wonderful people.
Who do I listen to? I listen to the people I love and the people who love me. And I listen to the words of Cat Stevens:
I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul.
Where I end up, well, I think only God really knows.
I've swam upon the Devil's lake
But never will I make the same mistake.
No never, never, never, never.
I almost died one night. I lived. I became a better person. I am alive. And now, I am glad I’m alive. I’m glad I’m alive.
What happened? The parametics put me into an ambulance. I had every symptom of a heart attack. Some of my family members, and some close friends, had died of heart attacks. I thought I was going to die. I knew that "I might die tonight". I thought I would never see my wife and children again. A miracle happened. I started thinking about Cat Stevens, and his music played in my head. I suddenly felt peace like I've never felt before. The good news is, obviously, I lived.
Cat Stevens does not know me. I know his name is Yusuf Islam now. I have never met him. He saved my life through his music.
I am a 47 year old man. I was in good health, or so I thought.
One night, I thought that I was going to die. I thought I was going to die that night.
On that night, my life changed forever.
The day started like any other day I was at a store shopping. I do this all the time. It was a Sunday evening, like any other Sunday evening. I felt fine. Suddenly, I felt my heart beating really fast in my chest. I started breaking out in a sweat. My chest felt heavy. Pain was shooting down my arm. I got in my car and drove home. I had never felt this way before.
Was it bad food I ate earlier in the day? What was going on? I had never felt this way before. I went home and layed down on my bed. I would feel better in a few minutes. The pain just got worse.
My wife and kids were home. They didn’t notice anything wrong.
After another couple of hours, the pain got worse. I started to feel a sense of doom. I felt that I was going to die. I had never felt this way.
Then I remembered: my uncle. My uncle was about the same age – around 50 – when he suddenly died of a heart attack. He had no symptoms. He woke up one morning, felt pain in his chest and arms. By that evening, he was dead.
I got more and more worried. I started thinking that this was it. I was going to die.
I wrote my son (age 11), my daughter (age 14) very brief notes. I did not say goodbye. I told them I loved them. I wrote a note to my wife. I told her where my life insurance papers were. I didn’t want to worry them.
I called emergency 911. The ambulance and the parametics arrived very quickly, about 5 minutes later. The time was 2:00 in the morning. Their sirens and red flashing lights woke up my wife and kids. When this happened before, it was a neighbor. Now, it was daddy. They were taking daddy to the hospital. I told my wife, “I am sorry, but I called the ambulance. I think I am having a heart attack.” Nothing like this ever happened to me before.
The last I saw of my two children was outside the ambulance. They were crying. I thought I would never see them again. They thought their daddy was going to die. My wife followed behind me in her car.
It is very strange when you think you are going to die. I did not think about death. I did not think about what would happen to me. All I wanted was to see my wife and children again. I wanted to change my life, so I would live. Unfortunately, if this was the last night of my life, I no longer had time to change anything.
I am somewhat religious. I attend church regularly, but I rarely pray, and I rarely read books like the Bible. I am not sure about religion. I think I believe that there is a God. But at that moment, I suddenly and silently said this:
“God, if you let me live, I will devote my life to you.”
I promised God that if I lived, I would devote my life to Him. I did not promise that I would quit my job (I work in computer software for large company). I did not promise I would become a missionary or a pastor. I only promised that I would devote my life to serving God.
I began to remember: somebody famous, somebody I really admired, made the same promise. He actually did it.
It was one of my favorite songwriters, Cat Stevens. When he was young (around 25 years old I think), he was swimming in the ocean near Malibu, California. (I grew up in Palos Verdes, California, which just across the bay from Malibu.) Suddenly, a rip current picked up Cat Stevens and carried him out to sea. For that moment, he felt that he was going to die too. He said the same thing, “God, if you let me live, I will devote my life to serving you.” He actually lived up to his promise. He gave up the music business, and all the wealth and fame associated with it. He has devoted his life to charity, education, and helping others. He changed his name to Yusuf Islam. Thirty years after his near death incident, he returned to music and began writing and recording songs again. His new songs are just as good and inspirational as before.
Cat Stevens also wrote a song called “But I Might Die Tonight”. One night, I thought that I was going to die. At the age of 47, I thought my life was over.
As I layed on a cot in the ambulance, I asked silently, “God, why have you abandoned me? Why do I need to die in pain as a young man?” I didn’t wait for God to answer me. I have never heard God’s voice. I have never seen God or experienced God directly.
I didn’t need God to answer anyway. I knew the answer. I was a mean, fat, and drunk person. I was overweight. I was unkind to the people who loved me. I drank alcohol all the time. These things all kill you. They may not kill you right away, but eventually, they kill you. I knew it, but kept doing it.
I started thinking about a song I heard recently. The words were:
You can’t bargain with the truth.
Whether you’re right or your wrong
You are going to know what you’ve done
You’re going to see where you belong
In The End.
I had denied the truth for a long time. I was not going to live a long or happy life by drinking. My anger at people who had hurt me was boiling over. I ate too much of the wrong foods. The Truth was becoming clearer to me now. But was it too late? Was I going to die?
As I layed down in the ambulance, the paramedics began to hook me up to heart monitors, sticking needles in my arm, and asking me questions. I answered them – I think – I think I was still conscious. I knew the hospital is a 10 minute drive from my house, but the bumpy ride in the ambulance seemed to take hours. There is no concept of time when you think you could die at any moment.
I kept telling myself I was a better person than most people. In truth, I hated myself. I hated the person I had become. I asked God again: why? Like a voice from the darkness, I heard a song:
The answer lies within.
So why not take a look now?
Kick out the Devil’s sin.
Pick up the Good Book now!
I knew this was one of my favorite songs, “On the Road to Find Out”, by Cat Stevens. He could have meant the Bible, or any good book. God was telling me, I had to look within myself to get the answers I was seeking. If I was going to die tonight, I had to get the answers now.
I arrived at the hospital. They wheeled me in to a hospital room immediately. They hooked me up to an IV and life support equipment. I was still conscious. They told me that the blood test and EKG results would not come back for 45 minutes. I did not know if I would live that long. It would be 45 minutes before I would learn if I would live or die.
In about an hour, the doctor came in. He told me: “you are not having a heart attack. I think this is a panic attack. We are going to observe you for a few hours. Then you can go home.”
I was going to live!
But I was not going to live as the same person I was before.
I made a promise to God: I was going to serve Him if he let me live. How was I going to serve God? I was not famous. I could write a book and have millions of people read it. I was not wealthy. What could an insignificant person like me do to help God?
Then I remembered words from another song:
If you want to help your fellow man,
You better start with what’s in your hand.
Did this mean that I could serve God by helping people? Even if I helped one person, in any way I could, was this serving God?
Since my near-death experience, I learned a few very important things. I learned that what many people say is a lie. I learned that if you follow the advice of some people, you will die. You will die alone and miserable. This is why I don’t offer advice to people very much. I might be wrong. I tell people what I feel, what has happened to me, and what I did about it. I let them decide to do what I do. If people like me and respect me, they will do some of the things I do. I will live my life as an example to others.
The most important thing I have learned is that we can change ourselves. We do not need other people to change. We do not need help from other people. Getting help from other people is very good sometimes. The problem is that we cannot control other people. If we count on other people for our happiness, we will always be disappointed. This is not because other people are bad. This is because all people have their own problems, and everyone is suffering too, some worse than others.
I can only change myself. I realized I have control over what I feel, and I can especially control what I do. If I am kind to others, they are more likely to be kind to me. Some people will be unkind no matter what you do. No matter what they do, I can be good to others.
I realized that my own happiness was mostly under my control. Some things happen that I can’t control: illness, accidents, and other people hurting me. It is very difficult to be happy when you are suffering. However, I can still be happy. I can be happy if I decide to be happy.
I want serve God, whatever He is. I want to keep my promise. I want to live. I want to be a better person. I did not know how. Who really knows how to be a better person? I started looking for answers.
I don't know the answers to all my questions, but I am on the road to find out.
I decided to read the Bible. In the Bible, Jesus told me to love my neighbor. He told me to treat others like I want to be treated. He told me to fix myself, to change my heart, and to be more loving to others and to myself. He told me to stop judging others, and to stop hating others for bad things they had done to me. He told me to forgive others. Later, I found out that the Jewish prophets, Buddah, and Mohammed all had very similar messages. Peace be with them all.
My belief in God is really helpful to me, but you can have any religion, or no religion. I am not trying to change your religion, and I am not saying you must believe in God. For me, my feeling that there is a higher power has made me feel hopeful. I felt hope that I could change the road I was on.
I became a happier person. I became a happier person by loving others, being nicer to other people, and forgiving the people who hurt me. This made me happier. More people liked me and respected me. My wife and I love each other more than ever. My children are happier and are growing up wonderful people.
Who do I listen to? I listen to the people I love and the people who love me. And I listen to the words of Cat Stevens:
I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul.
Where I end up, well, I think only God really knows.
I've swam upon the Devil's lake
But never will I make the same mistake.
No never, never, never, never.
I almost died one night. I lived. I became a better person. I am alive. And now, I am glad I’m alive. I’m glad I’m alive.
