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Post by aurarisma on Dec 15, 2011 21:17:37 GMT -5
O.k. a couple of points in the man's defense based on my research: 1) Patti D was 3 years younger than Cat. (I guess she still is!  ) She was running the streets of NY by age 13, staying out in clubs with the the permission of her permissive parents, and was by her own admission, a wild child. She dropped out of school at age 16 because the authorities were after her for never attending. In 1968 (age 16), she had a role in the Andy Warhol film "Flesh" where she showed some . . . um, flesh. She had the kind of underdeveloped figure that Twiggy made popular at that time. Although short, only 5'3", Patti got a modeling contract and moved to London on her own, where she had her own pad. When Cat met her, she was 17 and was the amor of his best friend's twin brother. She really didn't even know who Cat was because he had just come out of the hospital and hadn't had his comeback. My point being that it's not as if he was some rock star preying on a younger girl. So Patti was a pretty worldy 17 year old and, although legally underage, at that time that 3 year difference was not considered important. Now she would probably be "legally emancipated" from her parents. In my eyes, it was not an inappropriate match for the times. 2) I'm absolutely willing to bet that Cat did not know Lucy was 16 when he first met her backstage after she snagged his attention with a poem. Like Patti, Lucy was worldly, intelligent and precocious. She was not attending high school because she had been kicked out of her upper class school. She later withheld information from Cat about her livelihood until she decided to fess up. She converted to Islam when she knew he wanted to find a wife of the same faith, and she dropped it when she was no longer a marriage candidate. She's had legal problems for practicing psychology without a license. 3) I question Lucy's veracity on some parts of the Cat story because of her history with the truth. My view of Patti D is that she may have been less than honest when unfaithful, "I believed all your lies, like you believed mine", but when it comes to the story of her life, she is brutally honest, even when it reflects badly on herself, such as her heavy drug use in the late '70's. 4) I, too, assumed Fauzia was, maybe, 10 years younger that Yusuf. But I've read two accounts, one that she was 28 when they married and another that she is a couple of years younger. I'm glad for him that he chose someone with the same values who was ready to build a family with him. "The moment I looked into your eyes, I knew that they told no lies. There would be no good-byes. Heaven must have programmed you."  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hyacinth you made me giggle and chuckle so much on that page you wrote !!! lol xoxoxx your perception and how you have analyzed and bet on what you were saying . ;D interesting is your outlook:)
.. .maybe there will be a Memoir one day .. until then I guess one will be written for him !!! lol |
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Post by hyacinth on Dec 15, 2011 21:36:22 GMT -5
.. .maybe there will be a Memoir one day .. until then I guess one will be written for him !!! lol Well, sometimes these things come out in bits and pieces over the years. Both Patti and Lucy have talked about writing memoirs of their rather unusual, colorful lives. I'm guessing that Yusuf will not write a complete memoir, if he writes one at all. I'm thinking that the message he wants to relay is in "Moonshadow". Any other info will be on his webpage and Facebook page. That's my hunch. Only time will tell. |
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Post by aurarisma on Dec 15, 2011 22:44:04 GMT -5
hyacinth what I meant is you're writing one for him lol
there has been some talk about him writing a book and if he does I'm sure he will share what he likes and that will be a beautiful thing from his perspective . I wouldnt be interested in reading any of the girls views .... but that is me personally .
anyway about the rule of not marrying 7 years younger or older I believe than one's age..  (purplemoon mentioned)
mm...
one cant help who they fall in love with as long as it is a functional connection and not dysfunctional I guess ...altho 2/3's of the world are married to the wrong person .. thats what they say .. crazy statistics.
My grandparents in the 1920's had an arranged marriage . My grandfather I believe was 17 and my grandmother was 13 or 14 .. they married to have a family and shared the basics of a beautiful marriage .. but my grandmother knew her place and served the community making a soup kitchen and baking the holy bread for churches ..etc.. My grandfather had some kafeneiro's coffeehouses etc..
and that was what they had ....a large family and love it was that generational thing.. .. like .. it was a respectful kind of union .. I loved them! ..its all they wanted....
but I think nowadays people really look for the romance of the soul connection the functionality of being childlike and wondrous , with unwavering support for one another and sharing so much in similarities .. falling in love can bring .. who can say ...
so to me age difference .. is relative .. Love stirs from deep in the core , the mind and heart ...and visons of each others dreams ..
hahah I look at harold and maude a bit .. and I seee that ones childlike wonder should just never get tucked away .. Life is not a dress rehearsal and there are many lessons along the way ... xoxox peace xox
Oh well I wish everyone well ~~
ps I love the article too "The Diary of a Studio Owner" ~
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purplemoon
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Growing old is necessary but growing up is optional.
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Post by purplemoon on Dec 16, 2011 0:20:50 GMT -5
...anyway this was about the rule of not marrying 7 years younger or older I believe than one's age.. (purplemoon mentioned) I find it amusing .. . You misunderstood. The Rule of Half Plus Seven is a mathematical model of the observation that in affairs of the heart, age difference matters less as we get older. So, no, it does NOT say that the age difference should always be 7 years or less. It's more complicated. To be precise, it says, in one possible formulation: If A and B are the respective ages of two people who are 14 or older, where B is greater than or equal to A, true love is unlikely to be blossoming unless (B/2) + 7 is less than or equal to A. I have found this to be a fun algebra lesson for teenagers. (Even gray haired teenagers.) I first heard The Rule of Half Plus Seven quoted by a friend who is a law Professor at Wayne State U. We were discussing recent articles in The Economist about miscarriages of justice related to poorly framed statutory rape laws. Specifically, people have had their name and current address published on legally mandated lists of sex offenders due to morally questionable statutory rape charges filed by irate parents. Apparently, Michigan decided a while back that sexual conduct with a minor does NOT constitute statutory rape if the age difference is minimal. If Sally is 14 and Johnny is too, or if Sally is 17.5 and Johnny just turned 18, Michigan says it's the parent's problem. |
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Post by aurarisma on Dec 16, 2011 0:49:52 GMT -5
...anyway this was about the rule of not marrying 7 years younger or older I believe than one's age.. (purplemoon mentioned) I find it amusing .. . You misunderstood. The Rule of Half Plus Seven is a mathematical model of the observation that in affairs of the heart, age difference matters less as we get older. So, no, it does NOT say that the age difference should always be 7 years or less. It's more complicated. To be precise, it says, in one possible formulation: If A and B are the respective ages of two people who are 14 or older, where B is greater than or equal to A, true love is unlikely to be blossoming unless (B/2) + 7 is less than or equal to A. I have found this to be a fun algebra lesson for teenagers. (Even gray haired teenagers.) I first heard The Rule of Half Plus Seven quoted by a friend who is a law Professor at Wayne State U. We were discussing recent articles in The Economist about miscarriages of justice related to poorly framed statutory rape laws. Specifically, people have had their name and current address published on legally mandated lists of sex offenders due to morally questionable statutory rape charges filed by irate parents. Apparently, Michigan decided a while back that sexual conduct with a minor does NOT constitute statutory rape if the age difference is minimal. If Sally is 14 and Johnny is too, or if Sally is 17.5 and Johnny just turned 18, Michigan says it's the parent's problem.
altho' underage teeens I do think should wait .. I do agree there ..
but other than that .. Love is love .. and ain't it grand with ones soulmate .. I dont think age matters.. and thats my rule .. of Love .. xo
its much deeper than that .. hits the spiritual core and of wonder .. xxoox my perception anyway .. .xoxoxox
L'amour L'amour L'amour....
night night!! xxox
Joy |
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Post by aurarisma on Dec 16, 2011 0:54:57 GMT -5
Sixteen! Good grief, and how old was Ms. D'Arbanville? Fifteen or so? ... He seems to have had quite an appreciation for youth ... And having a sixteen year old daughter of my own (almost) I don't like it, not a bit. . Ms. Purple Moon's Algebra Lesson: The Rule of Half Plus Seven: ---------------------------------- You should not date someone unless the difference between your age and half of their age is less than seven: If you're 16, you can date people 15 to 18. If you're 18, you can date people 16 to 22. If you're 30, you can date people 27 to 46 If you're 60, you can date people 37 to 106 ... Some anecdotal evidence of the rightness of this theory: Paul McCartney violated The Rule with his previous marriage.   ;D   |
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purplemoon
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Growing old is necessary but growing up is optional.
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Post by purplemoon on Dec 16, 2011 4:31:01 GMT -5
The ending of Gilbert Scott Markle's article The Diary of A Studio Owner is beautiful:
Cat Stevens reached behind him, and took the black dinner jacket
off the back of a chair, where he had put it a few moments earlier.
"It should fit you. I'm not going to be needing this either, where I'm going."
"Where, Steve," I asked? "Where are you going?"
Cat Stevens went over to the window overlooking the valley,
and pointed towards Mecca.
"There." he said.
[/b]
It reminds me of a pivotal scene from one of my favorite novels,
The Razor's Edge by Somerset Maugham.
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peacock
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Post by peacock on Dec 16, 2011 7:57:36 GMT -5
PM: Yes, I get it - the age thing - and it makes perfect sense. While from a romantic perspective it's true, one can't help whom one falls in love with, there are certain things from a more practical perspective that tend to ruin a *long term* relationship. People with fewer things in common have a much rougher time moving from lust & infatuation toward real sustaining love -- and big age differences tend to mean less things in common. This is especially pronounced when one is young. When you're older, it doesn't matter as much. A wise person recognizes this. My daughter (15, almost 16) decided to date an 19 year old boy. We said *OMG no WAY!* but realized she's got a good head on her shoulders and prohibiting this would just make her like him more. So we let them go out together, with numerous restrictions. It took about two dates for her to realize that, as much as she liked him still, there really wasn't much chemistry. If he were one year younger, or she was one year older, it might have worked out fine. But I can't say, really. My own hubby is only six months older than me. Regarding the "arranged marriage" thing: I've seen so many people claim that Yusuf had an arranged marriage. From what I've read in more reliable sources, it wasn't that way at all, and I suspect it's just a stereotype people have about Muslim culture. But, who's to say arranged marriages are always bad things? If both young people have parents who love them and want the best, it could be just fine. Considering that 50% of marriages end in divorce (which marriages? American, I think, was the statistic) it would seem that even chosen marriages are a crapshoot. People often say that the people they ended up with 10 years after marriage don't seem to be the people they thought they married. I know my husband isn't quite the same guy - though I'm probably not the same, either. But we can accept this and appreciate the common ground we have always shared. If you're interested in a wonderful movie illustrating the whole concept of why arranged marriages aren't a bad thing, there's a movie called "Arranged" maybe you might check out. It's about an orthodox Jewish woman and a Muslim woman - one of whom is accepting, and one of whom is rebelling against the arrangement. Oh also incidentally they are both school teachers and become friends - but can't visit each other at home because of their religions. Interesting. |
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purplemoon
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Growing old is necessary but growing up is optional.
Posts: 483
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Post by purplemoon on Dec 16, 2011 17:54:22 GMT -5
It reminds me of a pivotal scene from one of my favorite novels, The Razor's Edge by Somerset Maugham. Wow! The Razor's Edge is one of my favorite books, too. I think Maugham's story was way before its time. I also loved the black and white movie of the book - great acting! Someone gifted me with a first edition back in the mid 70s! Can you imagine? To this day, I would probably name that as my favorite novel. Yes! The B&W with Tyrone Power was amazing. The recent remake with that comedian was abysmal in comparison. When I think about the broad arc of the life of SDG, I often recall the opening paragraph of The Razor's Edge. |
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) She was running the streets of NY by age 13, staying out in clubs with the the permission of her permissive parents, and was by her own admission, a wild child. She dropped out of school at age 16 because the authorities were after her for never attending. In 1968 (age 16), she had a role in the Andy Warhol film "Flesh" where she showed some . . . um, flesh. She had the kind of underdeveloped figure that Twiggy made popular at that time. Although short, only 5'3", Patti got a modeling contract and moved to London on her own, where she had her own pad. When Cat met her, she was 17 and was the amor of his best friend's twin brother. She really didn't even know who Cat was because he had just come out of the hospital and hadn't had his comeback. My point being that it's not as if he was some rock star preying on a younger girl. So Patti was a pretty worldy 17 year old and, although legally underage, at that time that 3 year difference was not considered important. Now she would probably be "legally emancipated" from her parents. In my eyes, it was not an inappropriate match for the times. 
(purplemoon mentioned)
;D 
